In life there are many checks and balances and losing is just another one. In order to feel joy, one needs to feels sorrow, in order to experience success, one must taste failure and in order for one to win one needs to lose. All of this is pretty much the same concept. You can’t have one without the other. Experiencing both allows you to know what each feels like and how to prepare for next time. This concept also creates a sense of balance, you can’t have too much of any one thing. That would all be too mundane and you would lack growth and development in many aspects of your life. That’s why challenging yourself is important and sometimes in that challenge you don’t always happen to be the winner.
Monday was a tough day. I’m fighting many battles within my self mentally and physically but I’ll save that for another day. No excuses, my roll today was quite upsetting. We slapped fives and I automatically went into butterfly guard (seated position). I was constantly forcing my way forward to keep my hooks attached. Continuously attempting to play X guard, De La Riva and even deep half. I was quickly looking to utilize sweeps and transitions from the bottom into a more dominant position such as the back. However THAT was my major issue… I was playing the wrong game! This guy was strong and aggressive. So playing off the bottom might’ve been my problem from the start. That was such a lame mistake by me, which cost me to end up flat on my back each time. For all my attempts, he just stuffed it all as if I was no competition. I felt his weight crush my sides, trapped underneath his side control. I had to force my way out every time, giving each upa, each hip escape my every energy leaving me completely drain to start again. It was tap after tap after tap. I honestly felt humiliated, confused, frustrated and angry. I couldn’t wrap my head around this. It wasn’t until time was called as I sat there in disappointment in my performance that it hit me. It wasn’t that I didn’t play my game. I just didn’t play the RIGHT game against him.
I know this guy’s game. He’s strong, aggressive and he just bulldozes his way through. Each time I sat my butt on the mat he kept charging at me like a raged bull. Worst part is I knew this! I tell others that when they roll…”take the position! Stay on top! Don’t play bottom!” and look who doesn’t even listen to their own advice, this guy. I’d grab his lapel and sleeves and he’d just run right through me. I didn’t want to roll with anyone else that day; I only wanted to roll with him. I was not concerned about beating him once, but beating him as many times as he beat me. For every tap, I got right back up and slapped fives again and ended on my back again. All I kept thinking was how? why? And What the F***? I’d get so caught up and frustrated the match wasn’t going my way that everything, my belief, my skill and my calmness went out the window.
I should’ve played for the top from the very beginning. I’ve rolled against him many times and he is a great competitor however, I never had as much trouble with him as I did that night. Looking back now that’s what I realized. Recently I talked much about developing your game but there’s one important thing that I forgot to mention, you need to develop a game from all sorts of scenarios, structures and sizes. Hence in a case like this, the game I’d play with someone equal my weight and size should not necessarily be the same game I’d play for a person bigger and stronger. For someone like him I should’ve forced my way to take a dominant position like side control, mount, the back or even in his half guard. I wasn’t playing aggressive for the top at all. I was clouded by ignorance and frustration. As soon as things fell a part, I panicked and crumbled and only allowed myself to care about the winning than care about what the hell am I doing wrong. Caring and focusing so much on the winning cost me to only lose.
This is a clear look as to why losing is so important. Losing adds growth and development. Think about all the times great teams like the Bulls and Lakers had to lose before winning. They even lost championship games but came back and at times winning back to back. As an individual think about how many times you have to fail before you can succeed. See, you’ll never know what you’re doing right if you never do something wrong. You have to assess the issue, fix it, train it and then make it yours. If you keep winning, then you’re not going against the right person. How does continuously beating the same person or people make you better? It doesn’t, that’s why you always need to challenge yourself and look for those people that will make you work, that will challenge you and that has the potential to beat you. THAT’S HOW YOU GET BETTER. That’s also how you build your confidence in yourself and your game. It wasn’t that I lacked the strength or the skill; no…it was I folded under pressure and I let my emotions try to play the game for me. I know what I should’ve done but from the start I did everything I tell everyone else not to do. I did everything I tell myself not to do. I did everything besides keeping calm.
That’s the importance of losing.